Hermione's Extra-Credit Project- and More
by The Nori of the Universe
Summary: It all starts when Snape gives Hermione a zero for a potion. Of course, Hermy wants to make it up, so she asks to do extra credit. And that simple request brings about... the Hogwarts Chorale Chrysanthemums!!! Read it, fall over laughing, and review.
1. Hermione's Extra-Credit Project

Disclaimer: Everything connected to and in relation with Harry Potter belongs to JKRowling.The rest is mine.

Author's Note: *snorts* sorry you peeps, but I've always wanted to do a kind of "song fic", okay? Besides, I think it's kind of funny!Hehe… If you think It's funny, I'll do a Lucky or something *rubs hands together evilly*. Sorry, and if you think it's just stupid and NOT FUNNY, then review and tell me…

Hermione's Extra Credit Project:

"Oh no," Hermione muttered."Drat this- HAIR!"She whirled her wand crossly at her hair, missed, and showered her partners, Harry and Ron, with confetti that sprouted from her wand.

Snape stood instantly beside her cauldron."Perhaps Ms. Granger would like to share her personal troubles with the rest of the class," he said in his usual cold voice.Harry and Ron sneaked looks over to Hermione, who looked scandalized that Snape had heard her.She gave her hair a nervous pat.

"I- I'm sorry, Professor, it's just that- my hair was in my face and I couldn't see the ingredients…"Hermione stammered.Snape sneered.

"Well, well, it's not good for our rambunctious hair to interfere with our potions, is it, Ms. Granger?"he smiled nastily and then went on."For your disruption of my class, fifteen points from Gryffindor and zero marks for your Disappearing Potion."

Hermione turned white."_Zero_? But- Professor-."Snape glared at her and went over to help Malfoy.

*****

"Can't _believe_ Snape took fifteen points off Gryffindor because of your _hair_," a disgruntled Ron said after class.Hermione looked miserable.

"And a zero!," she moaned."Right before our reports come out, too!The very last thing I need, of course."

Harry molded his face to look sympathetic."Yeah… what, d'you think, maybe Snape'll let you do some extra credit?"

Hermione suddenly stopped right outside the Great Hall."Yes, I think I will," she said, waving vaguely as she raced back to Snape's classroom.Ron turned to Harry with a look of amazement on his face."What, and you think Snape'll give her extra-credit?He hates her, she's a Gryffindor.Reckon he doesn't even know what the word _means_."

Harry shrugged."Maybe.Let's go in, I'm starving."

*****

Half an hour later, Hermione came running in to the Great Hall for dinner."He let me do an extra-credit project!"Hermione squealed.She held a paper in her hand."Snape said if I do this next class, he'll give me full marks for the Disappearing Potion!!!"

Before Ron or Harry could say anything, Hermione, clearly very excited, took off once again to work on her project.The boys sat dumfounded, leaving the roast chicken unattended.

"Well," Ron said at last."This'll be interesting."

*****

Harry frowned."Look at Snape," he hissed at Ron.It was two days after Hermione got permission to do her extra-credit for Snape, and the class had assembled in Snape's classroom.

Ron looked at Snape, who was smiling very sneakily, then poked his elbow into Harry's abdomen."Yeah, well, look at Malfoy," he muttered. "Looks very smug about something."

Malfoy was grinning smugly, his arms folded across his chest as he exchanged glances with Snape.

"Where's Hermione?" Ron asked, looking around for her in the dark dungeon."She didn't come in with us, did she?"

Just as Harry was about to voice the fact that he'd last seen her in the common room discussing something with Lavender and Parvati, Snape stood.

"Today we will interrupt our Potions class to view an extra-credit project which will be put on by Ms. Granger.Ms. Granger, you may begin."

All the class's seats began to swivel, so that everyone had a good view of the side wall, which was now opening to show a sort of dark stage.Someone unrecognizable was in shadow, and various objects were also there.

Some very familiar music started up.

"Oh, yeah…" 

Malfoy was now muffling sniggers.

The lights were fading on the stage, and a thin girl with a bright red jumpsuit was getting more visible with every second.

"Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…"

Harry felt a sinking sensation in his stomach.Lavender and Parvati looked at the stage eagerly, heads nodding to the music.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."

Malfoy was now laughing outright, and Snape's cold mouth twitched.

_"I think I did it again._

_I made you believe,_

_I need a pro-ject._

_Oh, Snapy,_

_It might seem like a fake, _

_But it doesn't mean that I'm serio-us,_

_Cuz to loose all my intelligence, _

_That is just not typically me…_

_Oh, Snapy, Snapy,_

_Oops, I did it again, _

_I played with your mind, _

_Got lost in your brain,_

_Oh, Snapy, Snapy,_

_Oops, you think I'm in-sane_

_That I'm sent from below…_

_ _

Ron couldn't take any more."STOP!!!" he yelled with enough force to shove a football team.The music stopped, and Hermione- because that's who it was- looked annoyed.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley?" Snape's cold voice interrupted."Perhaps you would like to assist Ms. Granger in her extra-credit project.Quite possibly Mr. Potter would also like to join you."

Harry and Ron just sat there, mouths mide open which Snape mistook for agreement.

"Oh, Professor Snape?" Lavender said in a rush."Could me and Parvati do that too?"

Malfoy nearly popped his eyes.Tears were already streaming from his eyes.

Slowly, Harry and Ron, accompanied by Lavender and Parvati (who were nearly running to the stage), got to the platform where Hermione stood, encased as she was in her Britney Spears- like costume, looking annoyed.

"Very well then, Lavender and Parvati, here you go and you can sing back-up.Harry and Ron, there you go and you can be dancers.Oh, Professor, could we have one more? It would look so much more symmetrical," Hermione said, taking her wand out and dressing Lavener and Parvati in identical red jumpsuits, and then Ron and Harry in silvery red gay-looking tops and red bottoms.Hermione then smirked and added, "I think Mal- Draco would like to come join us, wouldn't he?"

Malfoy stopped laughing in mid-laugh.Harry and Ron stopped feeling murderous with Hermione and instead felt great.Actually, ready to be B.S. dancers.

Snape looked as if he was trying hard not to laugh."Very well," he agreed, earning himself a warning look from Malfoy and a death threat from the same person.

Once Malfoy was in place, they started again, the entire class now trying not to choke with their laughter.

"anyway…

_I'm not that innocent…_

_You see my problem is this,_

_I'm wishing away,_

_Wishing that projects, they truly exist-_

_ _

Harry and Ron were buggyin' in back of Hermione, Lavender and Parvati were having the time of their lives, and Hermione was getting a hundred in her potion.Malfoy was trying with all his life to not look like a dork, and was trying to copy Ron and Harry's excellent moves.Snape started laughing really, really hard, then also started to sing along with the song.

_I cry, watching the hours,_

_Can't you see I'm a dunce,_

_In so many ways?_

_But to loose all my intelligence, _

_That is just not typically me,_

_Oh Snapy, oh_

_Oops, I did it again, _

_I played with your mind, _

_Got lost in your brain,_

_Oh, baby baby_

_Oops, you think I'm in-sane_

_That I'm sent from below…_

_I'm not that innocent._

_ _

_"Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…"_

_ _

Here Snape came up to Britney (Hermione).Dean called up, "All aboard!" through his laughter.

And the following conversation issued:

Snape: Hermy, before you're done, there's something I want you to know.

Hermione: Oh, it's okay!But wait a minute, does it have to do with…

Snape: Yeah! Yes it does!__

Hermione: But I thought you never gave extra-credit away!

Snape: Well my dear, I had to, ya see.

Hermione: Aw, you shouldn't have!

_Oops I, did it again,_

_Did it again to your mind,_

_Got lost, in your mind oh Snapy-ahyayay._

_Oops you, think that I'm sent from below…_

_I'm not that innocent…_

_Oops I did it again, _

_I played with your mind,_

_Got lost in your brain,_

_Oh Snapy, Snapy,_

_Oops you think I'm in-sane,_

_That I'm sent from below,_

_I'm not that innocent…_

_Oops I did it again,_

_I played with your mind,_

_Got lost in your brain,_

_Oh, Snapy, Snapy,_

_Oops you think I'm in-sa-ane,_

_That I'm sent from belo-o-ow._

_I'm not that innocent. _

_ _

A slight pause came as Hermione finished her song, then came a regular thunderstorm of clapping.The performers looked up and saw McGonagall, Dumbledore, and all the rest of the teachers crowded in the room along with their classes, all clapping genuinely.Hermione looked pleased, and she took a bow in the tumulous applause from the audience.Next came Harry, Ron, and Draco with sweat pouring off their faces, and finally Lavender and Parvati, who looked around, grinning broadly, enjoying it all.

*****

A few days later, these same six people were booked as performers for the Halloween feast, the Thanksgiving feast (they decided to have one in honor of Americans), the Christmas feast, the Easter feast, and the end-of school-year feast.Hermione was on a first-name and email basis with the real Britney Spears, and Harry, Draco and Ron melded with Lavender and Parvati to form Hermione's dancers.Hermione said that Britney had about five more dancers, so Neville, Dean, Seamus, Cho, and Padma Patil joined the Britney Spears group of Hogwarts singers.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Well, except for Voldemort, but that's another story.

Another Author's Note:Well, it is a bit- weird, isn't it? Yup.That's my specialty.Review.Now.

_ _

_ _


	2. Snape's Halloween Surprise

Disclaimer:J.K. Rowling owns everything and everyone within the HP books.Britney belongs to B.S. 

Author's Note: *announcer's voice* And here we are, ladies, gentlemen, and toast… the second part of Nori's Official HP Song-fics, starring: Hermione Granger as lead singer; Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Cho Chang, and Padma Patil, as Hermione's dancers; and the Nori of the Universe as their writer… 

Snape's Halloween Treat :

Harry looked in amazement at the bright-red barn owl that just flew in through the window of his dormitory, squawking hoarsely at him.It cleared its throat, then twisted its head nervously.

"Take it, Harry," it said, unhooked a letter, and flew off rapidly.Harry sat down on his bed for a moment.He'd never seen a talking owl before.The piece of parchment the owl dropped off caught Harry's eye, and he picked it up, still frowning slightly.

_Dear Harry,_

_Congratulations!!! I hear you and the rest have formed a singing group!!!I've always suggested to Dumbledore that we needed some kind of entertainment within the school.In fact, your father, Sirius, and myself nearly started one once… but that's off the subject.Harry, if this isn't too big of a favor, could you sing a song dedicated to Snape for me?Yes, I know we've never been the best of friends, more like enemies, but I'd like to anyway.I've got a friend of mine composing a song, so if you could use it, it would be gratefully acknowledged. I will be enclosing it in this letter as soon as she finishes, so keep on looking it here, you'll find it in about two days or so.I hear the Halloween feast is coming up- that would be a good time, would it not?_

_Your friend,_

Remus Lupin

Ron's head appeared from the wall of his curtains."What's up, Harry?"Harry gave a low chuckle.

"Lupin wrote," he said.Ron yawned and stretched, getting out of his bed.

"What'd he want?"

Harry was still holding the letter, reading it again.It had been the first letter he'd even gotten from Professor Lupin at school- and with such an odd request!"He wants us to sing a song for- for Snape."

Ron nearly levitated."What?A song dedicated to _Snape_?Us, singing it?Lupin hates Snape!"

Harry, confused as well, slowly shook his head."Reckon it'll be a hate song or something like that."

"Yeah," Ron said, taking the letter from Harry and reading it."Reckon so."

*****

"NO!"Draco Malfoy's face was bright red, his eyes popping out like ping-pong balls."Professor Snape'll tell my dad!"

"Yes!We don't have any other choice!!!," Hermione countered, bringing her hands to her hips."We are, after all, the Hogwarts Chorale Chrysanthemums!"

Draco choked."The- excuse me, Grangr, but the _WHATS_???"

Hermione looked around at her dancers, all staring at her in disbelief."That's what I named ourselves.The Hogwarts Chorale Chrysanthemums!!!"

Ron very tactfully came over to Hermione and put an arm around her."Hermione, I believe there's a nice room for you at the Happy Home around the corner."

Hermione impatiently shrugged his grip off."Yes- see, we are students here at Hogwarts, we are a singing group, and we- well, I like chrysanthemums."

Lavender looked hurt."Lavender's also a flower."

Harry tried to reason with Hermione."Look, Hermione, that name is not exactly MTV material."

He got one angry look, six blank stares, and two nods of recognition."Harry, that's the very thing I wanted in the first place!!! We're not like everyone else- we're different!That's why I came up with that name."

Hermione then sighed."All right, if you hate it so much, I'll try to change it.I thought it would be a good name."

Everyone shrugged.Harry coughed lightly and said, "So… we all agree to put on Lupin's song?"

As Draco opened his mouth to protest, there came aresonating, "Yes!!!" from the others.Hermione blew on her whistle, and the meeting was over.

Draco put his face in his hands and muttered, "Well, it's probably a better idea than the songs Potter made up."

*****

The next day- the day before Halloween- Harry checked the letter from Lupin and saw, to his surprise, an added parcel marked: HOGWARTS SINGING GROUP.

"It's the song!!!"Harry exclaimed, then hurried away to show Hermione and the rest.

*****

Live bats the size of cats flew from wall to wall.The students sat below, admiring the huge pumpkins, courtesy of Hagrid, glow with magical light and reflect orange shadows on the walls and enchanted ceiling- a clear, starry night.

Dumbledore stood up, smiling, and the high-spirited talking and laughing below died out."Happy Halloween to all!!!" he pronounced, a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes."I am proud to say that some of our fellow Hogwarts students have formed our very own, very talented, very ready singing group.We will have the privilege of viewing these gifted youngsters in a song before we commence to eating.Enjoy!"

Dumbledore resumed his seat, and the teachers' table rose up magically until it was hanging about ten feet above the other House tables.The professors were sitting in midair, their chairs tilted slightly as to view the stage that was opening up from behind the spot where their table had once rested.

The stage, a dark blue and scattered with silver sparkles, was empty except for a lone figure, silhouetted in the bright, magical light and wearing a dark blue trench-coat with big, silver stars sewn into the button-holes.

A magically altered voice resounded throughout the Hall.

"The song we will sing is a very special song.It is dedicated to a certain Professor at this school.We will reveal the identity of the Professor after our song.Thank you."

Before the students and the teachers could puzzle out who the singers were talking about, a soft blue light filled the light, immediately giving the aura of romance in the air.People settled back into their seats to enjoy the song.

The pop music started out, and ten figures on the stage began to be visible as human beings in (boys) baggy blue pants and silver tops and (girls) blue skirts with silvery tank tops.

Hermione, lead singer, was dressed in a blue jean/ silver starred outfit.

Everyone's head began to bob with the slow music.Some of the students below took girl/boy-friend's arms and led them out to dance in the middle of the room.

_You're sitting there alone now in your room,_

_And thinkin' 'bout the times that you've been through, (oh my god)_

_I'm seein' an image up in my head, _

_Blockin' out the figure of you dead._

_I really want to know what you've been through, _

_Even_ _though I am not that shrewd._

_If only you were there tonight, _

_I know that I could make it ri-ight._

_ _

Since it sounded very sappy, McGonagall was sniffing already, and Professor Trelawney was dabbing at her eyes, murmuring, "I predicted- I predicted…"

_I don't know how to live within your mind,_

_I was born to drive you crazy._

_'Cause I'm the only one within your head, _

_I was born to drive you crazy._

_Always and forever you hate me,_

_That's the way life had to be._

_I don't know how to live within your mind,_

_I was born to drive you crazy._

_ _

For a while, the music continued on it's own, and the majority of the people in the Hall were trying to keep from sobbing.No one had any idea who the song was dedicated to, but it was so sad!

_I know you've been so sad since I've been gone,_

_You'd better face it and be done, (oh my god)._

_'Cause livin' in a nightmare of your mind,_

_It's not the way I should be kind._

_I don't wanna give a damn for you,_

_But forgive me if I do-o._

_If only I was there tonight,_

_I know that I could make it ri-ight…_

_ _

During the chorus, all faces were turned to the singers, tears streamin' down their faces, feeling the pain of the one singing.

_I don't know how to live within your mind,_

_I was born to drive you crazy._

_'Cause I'm the only one within your head, _

_I was born to drive you crazy._

_Always and forever you hate me,_

_That's the way life had to be._

_I don't know how to live within your mind,_

_I was born to drive you crazy._

_ _

_You'd do anything,_

_You'd give up your life,_

_You'd stay forever,_

_In place of a knife._

_Just call out my name- _

_I'll try to be there,_

_Just to show you how much you'd care._

_ _

"Wahhh!!!!" cried every person in the audience, bawling like babies.It was so heartbreaking!

_I don't know how to live within your mind,_

_I was born to drive you crazy._

_'Cause I'm the only one within your head, _

_I was born to drive you crazy._

_Always and forever you hate me,_

_That's the way life had to be._

_I don't know how to live within your mind,_

_I was born to drive you crazy._

_ _

_I was born to drive you crazy…_

_ _

With a final chord, the song ended.There wasn't a dry eye in the place; even the portraits who were listening were crying.After a moment filled with the mopping up of eyes, a thunderstorm of applause started with a roar, getting louder with every moment passing.All the pupils and professors rose to their feet, tears still streaming down their faces and their voices almost choked up: they could still cheer as loudly as they wanted to, and they did.

*****

After about five minutes of steady whistles, clapping and standing ovations, Hermione, grinning so hard her face was almost split in half, finally put her hand up to silence their fans.Harry and the rest of the dancers came up next to Hermione and gave a big group bow, which caused the cheers to become louder.

Hermione and her dancers, beaming, faded away into the blue mist swirling up, waving like maniacs.

A trench-coated figure stepped up.

"Thank you for listening- and now, for the dedication of this song…"

The Hall became silent, waiting on the edge of their seats for the news.

"From Remus Lupin to Severus Snape."

_ _


	3. Their Revenge

Disclaimer: J

Disclaimer:J.K. Rowling owns everything and everyone within the HP books.Britney belongs to B.S.Christina belongs to… Augilera.

Author's Note:Wow… it's been a long time since we've seen any updates on these AMAZINGLY FUNNY stories… okay.I'm sorry.The name of the song will appear at the end… Jthough you can probably guess beforehand… OH… and, Britney is probably NOT as, like, Valley-Girl-ish as I make her, like, out to be, you know, so, like, don't, like, sue me???Cuz, like, this is all for, like, the sake of funnyness???Okay???

What They All Want- Their Revenge

It took Snape three days to recover from the shock.He'd gasped, falled off his chair, and landed with a big crack, unfortunately fainting before hitting the floor with his overlarge head. Once he'd come to, he'd given the entire Chorale detentions, before heading off to the infirmirary to treat the shock.

Malfoy, for one, was not happy.At their next meeting, he ran all over the place, cursing everything and blaming it on…

"_I can't beLIEVE you talked me into this… **Potter**!!!My father's so mad he's- he's-… **GRANGER**!!!Hpow in the WORLD did you talk me into this??????Professor Snape's- given- a WEEK!!!I'm going to KILL_-"

Hermione finally lost her temper and sent a roll of duck tape his way, which proceeded to wind itself around Malfoy's mouth.He turned purple and began jumping up and down, trying to rip the tape off.

The rest of the group sighed.Lavender and Parvati looked scared."I can't DUST for an entire WEEK," Lavender said unhappily."My NAILS!!!"

Dean gave a cough."_Dusting_?I've got to help Filch with the… TOILETS!!!"

Neville gave an unhappily murmur of assent."I've got the filthy Owlery."

Harry, Hermione, and Ron were by no means happier."We've got Snape's dungeon."

Everyone stared at them.

*****

Meanwhile Britney Spears, over in her million-dollar house, was reading a strange piece of paper- it was cream-colored and thick, and had green ink writing on it.

Britney gave a gasp."Oh, my Gosh!!! He gave them, like, _detentions_???And it's like, all my fault!!!"And she commenced to crying.

"Those poor, like, little kids!!!And it was _my_ stupid music… oh my gosh I feel so, like, _responsible_!!!"

She took up a pink, feather-ended pen filled with purple ink, and began writing.

*****

The next day at the school, the Hogwarts Chorale Chrysanthemums walked around glumly.After completing their first days in detention, Hermione Granger whirled around the castle, rounding up her fellow singers/dancers, a very odd look on her face- it was similar to the one in their third year, when in the trunk of the DADA exam, she'd found that McGonagall was going to fail her.Now she wasn't quite as terrified- there was a whole lot of nervousness and frenziedness and hystericalness.Much more hystericalness.

"What's up, Hermione???"Harry and Ron asked her continually as they followed her around while she was collecting her people.This seemed to make her even more frenzied, if that was possible.

"I'LL TELL YOU _LATER_, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!With everyone else!!!"She finally screamed, her face red and her hair bushier than ever.

Harry and Ron backed away."Ooookay, Hermy…"

She'd already run off.

*****

Half an hour later (due to Malfoy's procrastinations), they all sat or stood in an empty classroom.

"LOOK AT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hermione screamed.

THIS was a letter.A letter in purple ink, and on unicorn stationary.

_Dear my singing group at that one school, and Hermione,_

_I am soooo sorry for all the detentions you have to do.I am sooo stupid- because it was, like, _my_ fault.You know what??? Even though I know that everyone enjoyed my songs, like everyone in the world does, I just can't stand it, like, everyone knowing it was ME who so totally ruined your lives with my stupid songs.So, like, please… **don't **use any of my songs again…unless, like I give you permission or something.Because I can't BEAR to see any of you guys hurt in any way or anything.I'm sooo sorry, again… you could probably use some other person's song…even though, of course, it wouldn't be that good, you'd make it good, because you guys have sung MY songs!!!_

__

_Lot's of Love,__ _

_ _

_Britney Spears_

There was a long silence.

"AND WE'RE BOOKED TO SING AT THE THANKSGIVING FEAST!!!"Hermione yelled to nobody in particular. 

"AND WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SING!!!"Draco yelled hysterically, then began screaming for the sake of screaming.

"I KNOW!!!"she yelled back, then began screaming for the sake of screaming.

"SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO SING!!!"Ron yelled, then began screaming for the sake of screaming.

"YEAH, BUT ALL WE HAD WAS B. S.!!!"Seamus yelled, then began screaming for the sake of screaming.

"SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!"Cho, Padma, Lavender and Parvati screamed, hands over their virgin ears.

"Fine then, let's do some LIMP BIZKIT!!!"Harry yelled.

Everyone stopped screaming to look at him.

"WHAT??????"Ron, Seamus, Lavender, Parvati, Draco, Cho, and Padma yelled.

"NO WAY!!!!"Hermione screamed.

"Yeah!!!"said Dean; SAID Dean, not SCREAMED Dean.

Professor McGonagall came in to find the source of all the screaming, followed by Professor Sprout and Professor Sinistra (Ravenclaw's Head of House).

"Miss Granger!" she said into the silence that greeted the teachers."What is all this noise???"

Hermione gulped: her face was bright pink and her throat was dry.

Ron answered for her."We were- practicing singing, and-"

"To enunciate and- er- sing louder,"Harry chimed in.

"The higher octaves," Dean said with a straight face.

"Suggestive rock," Cho chimed in, glancing at Harry, who mouthed "My Way" to her, out of sight of the Professors.

"And we got a little- carried away…" Ron finished.They all grinned sheepishly.

Professor McGonagall gave them all, save Hermione, suspicious looks."Very well then, but next time, use Room-Silencing Spells."

They waited until her and her colleagues' steps had faded well away into the castle before they erupted into LOUD, contagious, barking-mad laughter.

*****

"So, what'll we do???"Harry and Ron asked Hermione as they were walking back to their dormitory. "We don't have ANY songs of Britney's, now… we've got to do something…"

At that moment, he fell silent.Snape was walking towards them.He'd shown a level of animosity incredible even for him-and now he had a look as if the lowest slugs of the universe were crawling by him.To top it off, he choked out a couple of sneering words to them. "Hope your detentions are satisfactory…" before breezing off, rage imminent in his wake.

The corridor seemed a tad freezing after that little encounter.At Snape's words, they'd remembered their last session- five hours of cleaning spotlessly, no magic, with brushes and soap and disinfectant… and some of Snape's bushwhickle extract exploded ("I wouldn't put it past him to've done it on purpose," Ron muttered)right into Hermione's face.Fortunately, it wasn't poisonous- just disgusting.

All three sighed.Then Hermione grinned."I think I've got just the song."

*****

On the night of the Thanksgiving feast, Dumbledore had to send fifteen firecrackers into the air before his audience calmed down; excitement was running high, and the popularity of their HCC had been getting bigger- _what song would they sing today???_

"As I see your nerves are stretched to breaking, we'll have our entertainment before we eat… let's give it up for our very own Hogwarts Chorale Chrysanthemums!!!"

A resounding cheer, as loud as the one in the World Cup, resulted, if not joined in by a certain Potions master.

As in the previous Halloween, the chairs swiveled to face the podium… but this time, the stage rose up into the air, hovering about three feet off the surface.

It was empty.

The entire audience sat, breathless, excitement muffled.After five seconds of complete silence, there was a BANG and firecracker-smoke lit up the Hall, which in an instant had been voided of light.After a few moments of pure darkness, "disco" lights began dancing around the chairs to a beat they could almost sing to.But where were the singers?

Their question was answered.

In the front of the stage stood the dancers- black silhouettes against a red light.They were moving to the light-beat.

POW!!!!!!!!!!!!

All at once, the singer and her co-singers leaped up from beneath the podium… and…

_"What we all want…_

_what we all need…"_

_ _

The co-singers rammed up into the song.There was a gasp from the Muggle-related part of the crowd… "No B.S.!!!"…"They did her enemy!!!"…etc…

_"Whatever makes us happy,_

_keeps you mean…_

_What we all want,_

_What we all need,_

_Whatever keeps us,_

_On your List…_

_ _

_(yeah, come on) _

_ _

_ooooohhh…_

_ _

_"We wanna thank you, for giving us, time to leave,_

_Like a toad, you smiled so evilly-y…_

_While we got it together,_

_While we figgered it out…_

_We only did, we never liked, _

_'Cause in our minds was a voodoo of you,_

_Whippin' legs, makin' pegs… and it's lucky for us ya don't know…_

_ _

_What we all want,_

_What we all need,_

_whatever makes us happy, keeps you mean…_

_we don't thank you for knowing nothing about-_

_What we all want,_

_What we all need,_

_Whatever keeps us on your List,_

_And we don't thank you for being right here…_

_ _

_(yeah yeah)_

_ _

There came a slight pause.If one dared to look at Snape (which no one in their right minds would have, because they were liking (loving) the song…), they would have seen a very rare Human Syndrome… Rageious Totalus, from the bottom of his feet to the top of that greasy head.Not even Dumbledore noticed, so deeply was he absorbed in trying to do "cool" dance moves from the 1800's…

_No weaker man could have sneered away,_

_But you were It,_

_Though not enough to move away,_

_While we got it together,_

_While we figgered this out…_

_They say, if you hate something let it go,_

_If it comes back, too bad,_

_That's how life goes,_

_It's forever, yeah, it's for sure,_

_Until you're ready and willin' to give us more,_

_Than…_

_ _

Snape by this time was bright red and levitating in his anger, and by the time the chorus passed again, he was ten feet up and still going.Amazingly, no one noticed.

_ _

_What we all want,_

_What we all need,_

_Whatever makes us happy, keeps you mean…_

_We don't thank you for knowing nothing about-_

_What we all want,_

_What we all need,_

_Whatever keeps us on your List,_

_And we don't thank you, for being right here…_

_ _

_"We all need somebody better and not rough,_

_Somebody there when your going is tough,_

_Every class, he'll deliver our class,_

_In just one piece,_

_ _

_Somebody cool, but real easy, too,_

_Somebody, Snapy, unlike you,_

_Can keep us dyin around,_

_With you who never knew…_

_ _

_What we all want,_

_What we all need,_

_whatever makes us happy, keeps you mean…_

_we don't thank you for knowing nothing about-_

_What we all want,_

_What we all need,_

_Whatever keeps us on your List,_

_And we don't thank you for being right here…_

_ _

_What'cha got, is NOT what we wan-"_

_ _

And Snape exploded.

"NOW WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF YOU STUPID STUDENTS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I DO FOR ALL YOU NASTY, STUPID, DISGUSTING THINGS, YOU SLUGS… HOW DARE YOU, I WILL REPORT THIS!!!!POTTER!!!!WEASLEY!!!!!!GRANGER!!!DENTIONS, ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!"

Dumbledore looked in amazement at Professor, exploding fifteen feet up from the table.

Fortunately, this was one of the times when Dumbledore had become "temporarily deaf".

"My dear Severus!!!I think it wouldn't do to you to have any extra excitement!!!I think this might be just a tad bit too much music for you… Poppy???"

Madame Pomfrey was already waving her wand, muttering crossly about "too much rotten excitement, teacher don't know anything about health…"

Snape's eyes popped out of his head.

"DON'T YOU DARE COME NEAR ME!!!!!!!!I _WILL_ EXPEL THESE STUPID, MOTHER ******* STUDENTS FROM THIS ******* SCHOOL!!!!!!WHY THE **** I NEVER DID ANYTHING BEFORE IS BEYOND ME!!!! POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Madame Pomfrey soon restored Snape to a snoring, jerking dummy, which she escorted up to her nurse's dominion.

*

Surprisingly, the song finished with all its grandeur, oblivious to Snape's yells.In fact, Potter, Weasley, and Granger might have been grinning as they sang…

When the jeans/tight-shirted girls and jean/cut-offed t'shiryt guys finished, there was an applause of…

"YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!GO HOGWARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *whistles*YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"And just general screaming.Not even BSB got this much attention.

Harry, Hermione, and Ron exchanged high-fives, only to drown in a surge of bodies from the crowd, which seemed to have forgotten all about food.

And in a ward in the infirmirary, Snape rested tightly oin a bed, hands shaking and making punching motions once in a while.Watching him, Madame Pomfrey chuckled. 

"What they all want…"

Another Author's Note:If you haven't guessed yet… *drumbeat*Christina Augilera's "What A Girl Wants."Whoooohooo!!!!!!!!!!!!


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